FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the

gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.

We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance

examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it

before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But

nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only

three questions.

First : What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and

sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you

have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week

begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be

Today and Tomorrow "

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is

not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not

specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next

one?" asked St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied

Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer

can be twelve ."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in

Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve:

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.... "

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter "I see where you are going with

this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had

in mind.....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let

us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first

name"?

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.

"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to

my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come

up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt

it from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."

Give me a sense of humor, Lord.

Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,

To get some humor out of life,

And to pass it on to other folk.

Labels: jokes

posted by Nigel Cole @ 12:40 PM